walkin...

today andrew, dad, sister and i all participated in the SaskAdoptWalk 2012.  this walk has been happening here in Saskatoon for a few years now and raises support for:

• Offering post-secondary education scholarships for adoptees.
• Scholarships for students entering the field of Social Work with a special interest in adoption.
• Educating the public and raising awareness about the children in our province who would benefit from the permanency of adoption.
• Raising general awareness about adoption.

andrew and my sister walked the full 5km track, while my dad and i did about 3.5km. so fun!

the best part of today was seeing the wide variety of families, old and young, with varied (and beautiful) skin tones walking the track. my favorite was an adorable, chubby toddler with beautiful curly hair and dark cocoa skin running after the 'bayoons".

seeing the beautiful families and these precious children gives me hope for our future. we have no idea how or when our child will come into our home, but it WILL happen and hope is a precious commodity these days.

thank you God for hope. and family.

it's in the mail

ok. so tonight we FINAAAAALLLLLYYYYY finished up our domestic adoption application and sent it off 6 minutes ago. Yahoooo. It feels so good to just get it out of our hands and off in the mail and straight into God's hands. Love that I'M so not in charge of this whole thing and if He wants to speed up the very lengthy process, He could do that.

sometimes it's very hard to believe that we will ever actually be a 'family' or have a child in our home. we've waited so long already, and it's easy for me (as a pessimist) to feel hopeless in the situation.  I'm trying to surround myself with positive stories and happy endings. Otherwise I tend to drown in a puddle of pessimism. ha ha.

i also wanted to share a very special event taking place here in saskatoon this upcoming friday. End the Wait will be happening at Hope Fellowship Church.

"Attend an End the Wait seminar, available in Saskatoon this fall. If you’ve ever considered adoption, have adopted or would like to do more to support foster and adoptive families in your community, this event is for you."  

And Orphan Sunday is coming up on Sunday, November 4th. You can watch the official video below!


Orphan Sunday 2012 from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

the everlasting application

well, it's been over a month since our last update. and i wanted to keep everyone posted on what's happening on our little world.

we are still working on our domestic application. not that it's a long application, or requires a ton of paperwork. the hard part is making the various decisions that come with the application.  these decisions range from birth parent history, mental limitations to sensory loss and everything in between. lots of things to iron out and decide.

we're hoping to finish it up this weekend.

andrew and i recently celebrated our 9th anniversary. crazy!  but it feels so good to be on this journey, this time around, and to anticipate what the year may bring.

warm welcome (our first meeting with a case worker)

well, just a few short hours ago we had our very first meeting with our case worker. i was a little nervous going into the meeting, and i suspect andrew may have been too. ha ha. we just didn't completely know what to expect, other than lots of information and a bit of an interview. which was precisely what it ended up being. but better!

she greeted us and i was happy to see her slightly intimidating 'phone voice' didn't translate into her appearance. she is a kind, hopeful woman and i almost immediately felt at ease, with no pressure to 'perform' or act a certain way.  

we met in the newly renovated area of social services, and chatted first about our own personal experiences with adoption, and friends we've known who've adopted. kind of gave our own impression. then we talked a bit about our own personal journey and how we've come to the adoption decision.

she walked us first through the process of adoption here in SK. at this point, the wait time to get in for a homestudy (aka being released for homestudy) is 3-6 years. Of course, this is a rough statistic and an change at any point. of course, if one is willing to submit an adoption application that has a wide range of acceptance, chances of being released sooner are higher. 

we also talked a bit about the application itself. it's lengthy and a bit overwhelming. we'll probably take a week or two (maybe more) to figure it all out and decide on what we can/can't accept. 

here's what my email said to our case worker, as i emailed her an hour ago:

It was so great to meet you today! Really helped me feel positive about our future child and solidified my feelings about domestic adoption. Thank you for being warm and welcoming and willing to answer all our questions.

another step in the journey = done!

a meeting

on friday we finally got the message we'd been waiting for - an intake appointment with our (OUR! YAY!) case worker. in other words, we were contacted by a social worker, and are scheduled to meet with her in one week. This appointment is an opportunity to sit down with a SW to discuss the reality of the children in the care of Social Services. At the end of the meeting, we'll be able to take home the application and get it filled out. And officially apply!

i'm anxious to get it filled out and proceed on our way with domestic adoption, especially since our projected wait time could be up to seven years. Deep breath....

going public

A few weeks ago we decided to finally 'share' our story publicly with our church family. Andrew has been apart of our church, Hope Fellowship for his entire life (with the exception of two years in alberta) and I've been there for about 8 years now. It's like family. So after sharing our journey with all of our family and friends, we wanted to also share with “Hope”. 

We shared briefly about our struggles in infertility and then we talked about adoption and the journey we've been navigating in the past few months, and how international just doesn't feel right to us at this time. We also invited discernment and prayers as we go through this.

We were blessed to not only have our pastor and good friend pray over us (see him and his wonderful wife in the pics above) but also my dad was in attendance that morning and prayed a beautiful prayer of blessing over us. (Sorry that Mom had to miss out, she was working!) Dad's voice choked up with emotion when he prayed for the child, born or unborn, wherever she or he might be. We love you Dad. 

A week ago, we finished up our workbook and now wait to hear from a Social Worker. Once we have met with the SW, we can officially apply. It's good to keep moving forward on the process and at the end of the day, I'm so thankful that God is in control of this process NOT me. Because I don't know how long this wait will be. I don't know what type of criteria we can accept on our application. I don't know what age I can handle. But God knows and every day I am putting this back into His hands.

the beginning of ...something?

after somewhat of a lull between posts, i've decided it's 'high time' (as my dad would say) to update everyone.

It's been an interesting couple of months of researching, reading and learning for us. It seems like every day I am coming home and telling Andrew about a new tidbit of information I learned in the day about a certain country or a new rule for domestic adoption. I've learned a lot by contacting private agencies in Canada or just lurking on various forums.

About a month ago, we felt we were 90% for sure choosing Russia for international adoption. It seemed like a program that was moving relatively fast (around the 2 year mark) and the children were still under 2 at the time they were being brought home. The major downside is the cost (over $50,000) and the THREE trips required. We felt (and still feel) that if God wanted us to move in that direction, He would supply our needs for that.

However, that same week, I received an email from my Auntie, who passed on a message of hope and encouragement from her friend, whom we will dub “Sarah”. My aunt mentioned that we had ruled out domestic adoption (adopting within our province), since we had heard reports of a 5-7 wait time. But Sarah told my aunt that she felt this was an exaggeration and went on to explain that they adopted their beautiful, healthy infant girl, after waiting only ONE YEAR! What an amazing story it was to read that! Sarah and I connected via email after that and she told me her whole inspiring and encouraging story.  One little sentence she wrote jumped out at me:

"If this is the path God has chosen for you, just be confident that he has someone planned to call you mom and dad. They just aren't ready yet!"

So I chose to trust that that was God's way of telling us NOT to give up on domestic adoption.

The process COULD be a long time, or it could be short. It's an absolute shot in the dark.

A wonderful piece of news that I just received was that we can now be on both international AND domestic waiting lists. So, if we choose to pursue Russia in the future, we could have that option.

We have requested our “Orientation Workbook” from our local support centre and once we've completed that, we'll get referred to a social worker. At that point, we'll officially submit an application for domestic adoption. 

I am feeling a tiny bit scared of the unknowns but also hopeful.

thanks for reading and partnering with us. Any questions?

the language barrier

here's my second post on 'continuing education'. i've been re-reading "Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft" by Mary Hopkins-Best (which is excellent by the way) and trying to glean and remember all of the great information.

here was one little section that i found really interesting and wanted to mentally 'bookmark' for later.

for when we need to converse with our little noodle!

here's an excerpt that i found useful:

"Parents who share their thoughts on their first experiences in trying to understand their toddler - and to be understood in return - recommend that new families work on acquiring some functional vocabulary while they await their child's arrival.  Joining a language club, enrolling in a language class, or having a set of conversational tapes, compact discs, or books can focus parents' energies and allay their fears about communicating with their toddler in the first few weeks. One mother stressed the importance of learning some minimal survival phrases and words such as:


I'll be back
I am your mama/papa
no
yes
i love you
food/eat
stop
come here
show me where it hurts
toilet

Once home and part of their new families, it is astonishing to witness just how quickly toddlers adapt to a new language and begin to make it their own."

let's learn together

going through this process has opened my eyes to the world of adoption.  i'm enjoying and trying to soak up as much as possible in terms of educating myself to be the best advocate i can be for adoption.

so this may be post #1 in a little educational series I'm going to be doing throughout the process. Mostly for my own benefit to, but also in hopes that you, the reader, can benefit from this knowledge and do your best to share these truths with others around you.

i was reading "The Whole Life Adoptions Book" (Schooler & Atwood) a few weeks ago and came across a good resource for good guide when it comes to adoption 'language'.

Accurate Language	Less Accurate Language
Birthparent	Real parent, natural parent
My child	Adopted child, own child
Choosing an adoption plan	Giving away, giving up your child
Finding a family to parent your child	Putting your child up for adoption
Deciding to parent the child	Keeping your baby
Person/individual who was adopted	Adoptee
To parent	To keep
Child in need of a family	Adoptable child, available child
Parent	Adoptive parent
International or intercountry adoption	Foreign adoption
Child who has special needs	Handicapped child; hard-to-place child
Child from another country	Foreign child
Was adopted	Is adopted
Birth Relative	Blood relative

learning and researching

i have to say thank you. thank you to ALL of you who have read the blogs, emailed me, prayed for us and mostly AFFIRMED us in our decision. i've felt very encouraged by so many of our friends and family and I just feel so on the RIGHT track. yeah, it may be a long one but one we finally know we're supposed to be on. And one that has a happy ending.

in the past month since we've made our 'decision' i've been deep in the researching. lots of time spent on the internet looking at statistics, agencies and forums to get a handle on what countries are currently sending out children and what ages are available (on average). i've contacted quite a few of the Canadian agencies and have had great feedback and help.

the best has been hearing the personal stories and journeys of the people I've contacted. Families who have adopted from the Ukraine and Russia. Reading those emails.. seeing the beautiful faces of the children they've adopted has been a mixture of joy, sadness and humbling reality. I absolutely love reading the stories.

yesterday was one especially crazy moment in the midst of my researching craziness. i was reading a blog and decided spur of the moment to contact the writer and ask her more about her agency. i was

pretty excited when i got this response:

Hey,

You wouldn’t believe this…but my prayer today was that God would use me to help someone today in their adoption journey. :)

So, let’s chat! :)

whoa! ok. how cool is that?  i couldn't help but take that as a little sign from God that we're on the right track.

as i type this, i am actually awaiting her phone call so we can talk some more about adoption and their experience adopting their sweet little girl.

we still haven't decided on a country and don't feel too pressured to do so yet. we haven't applied for anything yet in saskatchewan, as you must decide on a country first before you can apply.

so if i could ask you all to pray with us as we ponder this decision of 'which country' and jump off this 'faith cliff', so to speak.

why?

so a few of you might be wondering about this whole ...ball of wax. adopting. how did we get here? what's the current process? what's the next step?  i shall try and answer some of your burning questions.

why adoption?

to answer this question i'm just going to back up a bit, in case there are some bloggers out there who don't know us.

i (camille) met andrew ten years ago through a mutual friend. i had a mini crush on him and as time went on, the fire sort of died - as i assumed he was smitten with said mutual friend. about four months after we met, i asked for a ride home with him after we'd all gone out to eat with friends. as we sat outside my apartment we talked for two hours and before i knew it, it was midnight! he called the next day. and the next day. and the rest was history! we 'knew' we'd be together forever after a few weeks. he was 'the one' and i fell head over heels.

a few months later we started a long distance relationship, as he headed off to a different province for a job transfer. it was one of the hardest years of my life but we managed to weather it AND get engaged. our wedding was september 27, 2003. we've been married ever since and it will be 9 (almost always blissful) years of marriage this fall.

since then we've had challenges, highs and lows, and grown a lot in the relationship.  about five years ago we decided to start a family. after a year of no success we started testing and ultimately got the verdict of unexplained infertility. it was (and is) frustrating to deal with a diagnosis on something, that could (still) change in an instant.

since then we've tried a few treatments with no success.  finally we had to (both) come to a point of grieving a biological child and accepting that for ourselves.

about two years ago, i started to read and research a ton about adoption. i knew that if i couldn't biologically have a baby, i wanted to be a mom anyway i could.  i've always had a heart for kids, and if you know me well you'll know i always gravitate towards kids and babies and often prefer their quirky conversations to the stuffy adult topics. :) i've always loved kids, but specifically there's always been a special place in my heart for the neglected children of the world.

james 1:27 has always resonated deeply within me: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

sounds great, right? except andrew wasn't ready to pursue adoption yet.

andrew and i had many conversations about it. we talked with friends who have adopted and they blessed us with their insight and wisdom. but he needed time to process such a huge decision.

quite honestly, we were going to try to 'decide' this summer and figure it out together.  but almost a month ago, out of the blue, he shocked me with these words:

"Honey, I'm ready to adopt."

i was thrilled, shocked, happy and totally unprepared!

such a huge blessing to see my husband come to this conclusion and embrace it fully on his own time and terms.

whew....well i guess that only answers ONE question. next blog post coming soon!

getting started

andrew and i have always been music fans. we've spent hours listening to music. talking about our favorite bands and guitarists and singers. quizzing each other on the finer points of lyrics, album titles, years of releases and who REALLY sang the first version of "Blinded by the Light."?

so when i was thinking of a blog title for an adoption blog - I couldn't get the idea of integrating lyrics into the blog - out of my head.

the following three songs really convey what i'm trying to get across with the title "i don't you know you yet".

love song for no one - john mayer


- - Searching all my days just to find you/I'm not sure who I'm looking for/I'll know it/When I see you/

to whom it may concern - the civil wars


- - Why are you so far from me?/In my arms is where you ought to be/How long will you make me wait?/I don't know how much more I can take/I missed you/But I haven't met you/Oh but I want to

and lastly....

falling slowly - glen hansard (once)


I don't know you/But I want you


So there you have it. Sometimes music speaks for me when I don't have the words.